I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
