...so i touched it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
