Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.