dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME