She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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