dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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