Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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