so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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