Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
