clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
