Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
