I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
