I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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