I'm really into asian looking animals
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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