His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
