I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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