I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
