God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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