I want to stick my p in your. b.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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