i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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