I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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