sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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