You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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