ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
