My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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