that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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