So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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