Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
