i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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