she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
