Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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