All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
