and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
