I like my sex mixed with concussions.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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