i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
