so that wasnt chicken after all
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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