Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
