i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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