Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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