I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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