when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
