i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
