Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
