I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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