Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
