well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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