a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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