you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
