she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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