You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
