They should really pass out barf bags in church
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
