I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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