my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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