It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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