Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
