I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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