I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
