i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
