The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
