He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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